Gut Check...Literally

Happy Monday! I'm celebrating my last summer Monday to sleep in and enjoy myself by waking up at 6am and cooking lunches for school :-/  I suppose it's better to get in the habit now then having that rude awakening Thursday morning!

I finally stepped on the scale yesterday.  It was as bad as I expected.  I know it's not all about numbers it's not really about looks, but my feeling very much matches the scale.  I don't have as much energy as I used to and my confidence is a bit shot.  This is my literal 'gut check'.  It's really easy to go down a negative path here, but I'm going to look on the bright side and use this as an opportunity for self reflection (I think I blogged about that a bit last time).  Life is a learning experience, if you let it be.  You can either be defeated by your mistakes, or learn and grow from them.  A friend of mine got me into the "Art of Charm: Confidence/Relationship&Dating Advice/Biohacking/Productivity" podcasts.  They are primarily directed towards men, but I think that a lot of them are applicable to both men and women.  I was listening to their episode on "How to Get Over a Break Up" (not directly related I know) and this quote really stuck with me.  It can apply to so many different areas of our lives and help with mental and physical health and growth.

"Start putting together pieces that you may be able to take responsibility for that you want to change and start working on those moving forward.  Because, if you're going  to be a different person, guess what? You're going to have to do things differently and you're going to have to create new habits  that are going to lead you into being the new person you want to be moving forward.  Use it as a learning experience.  We're not all perfect and the older you get the more stuff you take responsibility for, the better you're going to be feeling about moving towards the future...adopt the mindset that this is a learning experience"

(Sorry Aunt Bun, my loyal reader and grammar police.  I know that's a run on like many of my sentences are)  I would argue to say NO ONE is perfect, but that doesn't take away from the power of that statement.  So here I go...creating new habits.  Today's habit being--FOOD PREP!!! 10 chicken breasts at bagged up and in the freezer waiting to be my lunch.  It's hard when you wake up at 5:30am and get home about 7pm in the evening to be prepared to make healthy choices.  It's especially hard when there are no good choices at or around your work and I tend to make poor choices anyway when I'm rushed.  I really hope I can keep this up!  Maybe try some new recipes to share with you all?  Another habit I'm going to try to start is reading more, not just about health and healthy habits, but keeping up with current events and reading more for enjoyment.  If I find any good health ones...I'll post them here!

That's all for today.  I've been a bit long winded lately! Thanks for sticking through the end...or skipping to the end ;)

Stray strong!  I know I'm trying to! 

Embracing the Pain

It's been over a year since my last post.  I had sort of been stagnant and hadn't had anything exciting or interesting to report.  I forgot the whole meaning behind myself doing this blog.  It's a journey through the exciting, boring, easy, and difficult times.

I started this blog two years ago, but in some ways I feel back where I started.  I've slipped  back into some bad routines, but this is my wake up call.  When people would compliment me on my weight loss, I used to say "Thank you, I've been working hard".  I can't necessarily say the same thing now.

When I first started CrossFit and this blog it was a form of therapy for me, means to embrace the struggles I was facing at the time.  I have always struggled with health, body image, confidence, direction, and attitude...just to name a few.  I learned so much in that first year and embraced it all.  Now that I've found myself back in a rut, it's time to look back and reflect on some of those lessons I've learned and use them for the motivation I need now.

I'll put them in list form, because I like lists!

1. Hard work pays off.  Not only does it pay off physically, but it pays off emotionally.  It is rewarding to achieve something you have worked so hard for.  It's a way to put your stamp on the day.  Some days it's going to be hard to work hard, and that's ok.

2. Learn from your mistakes.  Sometimes you have to mess up to realize how to fix what's wrong.  This one has really resonated with me recently.  Not only relating to my growth in health and fitness, but in my growth to be an overall better person.  Boy do I ever make a lot of mistakes! This is the essence of what my career revolves around.  I have kids answer questions or say certain sounds.  I let them try it their way first and then work through the problem.  That has always been my philosophy on what works best for them, and now it's my time to learn that skill.  I think this blog will really help me to reflect on where I went wrong and how to fix it.  My goal for this blog is to write about growing towards better overall health, but I think a huge component of that is mental and will help me become the best version of myself mind AND body.  Embrace the pain (I'm not talking injuries).  To quote Batman (cheesy I know...but it was on the other day) "Why do we fall down?  So we can learn to pick ourselves up!"

3. Stop making excuses and stop feeling sorry for yourself!  For solutions to this see #1 and #2.  This one has always been big with me, but has changed some over the years.  I used to think I was so far gone I couldn't be helped, it was too late to start, I can't do that, and if I complain about it maybe it will change.  Lately it been more...well I work so hard I should be able to_(full in indulgence or mistake)___.  I'm not saying never indulge or that mistakes won't happen, but it's a thin line before you let things get out of hand.  For me, it was with the food.  I used to be a clean eating machine.  It started off with a cheat meal here and there...and that didn't seem to make a difference...then it became lots of cheat meals...that didn't seem to make a difference....then it became eating out a lot...then BOOM...it hits and you're back to where you started! It happens little by little and sneaks up on you.  Nutrition really is key! You can't (or at least I can't) workout really hard and think it will cancel out the junk you put in your body.  I'm currently in the process of finding out what works best for me.  Being thrown into CrossFit and paleo at the same time, I dropped weight pretty quickly, but it didn't seem to be able to be extremely sustainable for me, so I'm looking for something similar and a better strategy to eat what kinds of foods when.

4.  The excitement will fade.  I think when you start anything new it's so easy to dive in head first.  When I started CrossFit, I was there 5 days straight a week and sometimes even 6!  I got the shoes, weight belt, wrist wraps, more workout clothes than regular clothes.  I was in it to win it!  There comes to be a point where it is no longer novel.  I kind of look at it like a relationship.  The "first date" butterflies are gone.  We are two years in and now we are into the hard stuff.  I still love it!


I'm sure I've learned a lot of other valuable lessons in these last two years.  Bare with me as I look back and try to learn to move forward!

Stay strong...I know I'll try! 

14.DONE!

I'm 1,949th!!!! (In my region...at least at the moment)  They should really make a foam finger that says that!! 

I just finished my first CrossFit Open experience! 5 grueling weeks of crazy workouts

Week 1:
14.1 The workout: 
Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 10 minutes of:
30 double-unders
55-lb. power snatches, 15 reps

My Score: 146 reps (3 full rounds and 11 double unders)

Not the worst workout I've ever done, but double unders were very frustrating for me, because I had to do a single and then a double...so I was jumping TWICE as much! Yoi!  BUT, I didn't die.

Week 2:

14.2 The workout:

From 0:00-3:00

   2 rounds of:

   10 overhead squats

   10 chest-to-bar pull-ups

From 3:00-6:00

   2 rounds of:

   12 overhead squats

   12 chest-to-bar pull-ups

From 6:00-9:00

   2 rounds of:

   14 overhead squats

   14 chest-to-bar pull-ups

Etc., following same pattern until you fail to complete both rounds

My Score: A very proud 11!! :) 

I saw this one and laughed.  I SUCK at kipping pull ups...and had never done a chest to bar pull up in my life!!! I thought I'd come in do 10 overhead squats and be done.  Well, almost...I got ONE chest to bar pull up, which is way better than none!

Week 3: 

14.3 The Workout:

Complete As many reps as possible in 8min

95-lb. deadlifts, 10 reps
15 box jumps, 20-inch
135-lb. deadlifts, 15 reps
15 box jumps, 20-inch
155-lb. deadlifts, 20 reps
15 box jumps, 20-inch
185-lb. deadlifts, 25 reps
15 box jumps, 20-inch
205-lb. deadlifts, 30 reps
15 box jumps, 20-inch
225-lb. deadlifts, 35 reps
15 box jumps, 20-inch

My Score: 106...which would be 16 reps at 185lbs

My best workout BY FAR!!! I was pretty proud of myself here.  I think I've deadlifted 185 maybe for two reps or so ever.  205lbs is my max, so it would have been interesting if I would have made it there!

Week 4:

14.4: The Workout

Complete as many rounds and repetitions as possible in 14 minutes of:
60-calorie row
50 toes-to-bars
40 wall-ball shots, 14 lb. to 9-foot target
30 cleans, 95 lb.
20 muscle-ups

My Score: 135

The workout that made me cry!!! This workout...minus the toes to bar and muslce ups should have been my workout!!! I finished my row so quickly and wanted to bust through those wall balls and get my show how good my cleans and getting....and alas...I spent probably a good 7 1/2 min on STUPID toes-to-bar :( 50 is just sooooo many, BUT I didn't die.  I wanted to cry a bit during, and shamefully cried afterwards.  I thought that was potentially the worst workout I've ever done....until this past week

Week 5

14.5: The Workout:

21-18-15-12-9-6-3 reps for time of:
65-lb. thrusters
Bar Facing Burpees

My Score: 22:07

22 minutes and 7 seconds of torture!! I don't know if I've ever sighed and grumpily grunted during a workout so much!!! By the end, I was flopping on the ground like a fish out of water, taking a few seconds laying on the ground just to catch my breath! This one was even hard to watch other people do.  It really crushes your spirit! ESPECIALLY after you finish the first set of 21's and realize....Oh my, I still have SO MUCH work to do!

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...I didn't die.

Clearly I'm not competitive and I'm NOT even remotely close to going to regionals or having a score to brag about! However, it was very fun to challenge myself and surprise myself! It was also fun to see how I stacked up compared to my region and the world.  I'm right in the middle...hey...at least it aint the bottom! I was able to see some amazing displays of athleticism in my own gym and watch people crush the above mentioned workout..a lot of people putting themselves through that torture multiple times to better their scores!  It was fun cheering everyone on, and being encouraged and cheered on by others.  It really does impact your performance when other people support and believe in you! And we really do have a great community at CrossFit Clay United :) 

Can't wait for next year?!?! I'm 9months into CrossFit now...and will be over a year and a half into CrossFit come the open next year, so it should be fun to compare!

Taking on another challenge this weekend of another partner competition with Annie again.  I'll blog after this Saturday and share how it went! Fingers crossed my double unders show up!

Stay Strong...I'm still trying!

Body Image

April 2013         August 2013        January 2014

So here we have a pre CrossFit pic, 2ish months in, and yesterday (7 mon)  Yes I realize that is an awful swimsuit top..I have purchased a new one, but wore the same for comparison :) The difference in weight between each picture is roughly 10lbs (plus quite a bit of muscle gain).  Between the first and last picture I have lost 4 inches off my bust, 4inches off of my waist,  4inches off my hips, and 2inches off my thigh.  I can't say I have reached my goal yet, BUT I'm clearly much closer than I was in April, and I can't wait to see what the results are come April or May! :)

Body Image:

As proud as I am of my weight loss and transformation, I posted and deleted that picture probably 5 times.  I have never been comfortable with my body and putting it here on the internet for all to see is pretty frightening.  I have definitely had some harsh critics over time from middle school bullies to people who were very close to me, but overall the harshest critic has been myself.

I was at the Great Lakes Invitational a few weekends ago (a CrossFit competition in the area that brings some big athletes into town).  It was a wonderful display of talented athletes and beautiful bodies.  I found myself looking for girls about my height and build to get some good goals.  I have always found the athletic build to be the most attractive and appealing to me.  I also think it's probably the most realistic body type for me to strive for.  I'm 5'10" and have broad shoulders and wide hips.  I'm not going to look like a lot of the traditionally attractive looking celebrities, not unless I cut my legs off below the knee and develop an eating disorder.  I know a lot of models are my height, but have very small builds and I would assume a lot of them don't eat very much.  In high school my lean body mass was measured at 133lbs, so I would assume now with muscle gain it's at least 140-145lbs.  Can I weigh 125lbs like Giselle?? I wouldn't want to see myself that way or see what it would take to get that way.  Yes, I realize there are some people who are naturally very thin, but it gives usnrealistic expectations for some people who strive to look like that.

I think if I lean out another 10 or so lbs and gain some more muscle, I'll be right about where I'd like to stay and maintain forever!  With that said, I need to learn to love and respect my body at all stages.  I have a healthy goal for myself, but I have to realize throughout this experience that not everyone will agree with how I do it or how I want to look.  I have had people tell me the body type I'm aiming for is unattractive or bulky, which I was very offended and hurt by.  I have spent 25 years being uncomfortable with my body and to hear that what I am close to and what I want is unattractive?!?! It's frustrating!  BUT, then I realize...it really doesn't matter.  They aren't me.  They don't get to own my body and they don't get to experience the pride I do when I reach a goal.  Ultimately, I am responsible for how I look and how I feel about the way I look.  So I'm setting a new goal for myself!  As I reach new goals, continue to respect and love myself!  At the end of the day, a person who is comfortable in their own skin and loves them self is the most attractive anyway!

I'll get off my podium now...Until next time, stay strong! 

A Year in Review and a 2nd Recipe Too!!!

Snowed in...what better to do than reflect on a great year and mess around in the kitchen!

So....I missed my 6 month CrossFitversary...I'm sorry baby!  I can't believe how the time has flown by!! I'm not quite as strong as I thought I'd be 6 months in, but looking back and where I started, I have to pat myself on the back!  I'm two pants sizes smaller...probably 10-15lbs of FAT lighter and a heck of a lot stronger than where I started!  (My next post will have before and after pics with exact measurements!)  I remember not being able to hardly overhead squat the PVC pipe and last week I got 108lbs (I think I could have gotten more ;) !!  Besides the obvious health and looks benefits of my 6 month journey with CrossFit and overall better health, I feel like I have gained more confidence, pride, and an ability to put myself outside of my comfort zone!
Looking back on years past and new years resolutions I've made and EVERY year...it has been to lose 20lbs!  Not that I don't have 10 or so left I'd like to lose, I'm happy to NOT have that goal this year and hopefully never have a weight loss resolution again!
Goals for 2014-
Eat Clean
PR every time we max out (is this unreasonable?)
Make it to the top of the rope every time I climb it!
Master body weight moves
Be more supportive and listen more
Keep my room clean :)
Make new recipes and be more accurate with the measurements so I can share them with all of you!....transition to my recipe..

So, I have recently signed up for Green Bean Delivery (a grocery delivery service that delivers organic and local (when they can) groceries in Indianapolis).  I have opted to get the fruit and veggie bin and not look at what is coming in my bin!  This way I am forced to get creative in the kitchen AND make sure I'm varying the foods that I eat!

My last two bins I have gotten each had full heads of cauliflower.  I have seen a lot of recipes calling for riced cauliflower as a substitute for rice in dishes, soooooooo I put those bad boys in the food processor and bagged them for stir fry!  After having a delicious cauliflower soup at Cerulean (if you haven't been there...do yourself a favor and go!), I decided to try out a soup....here is what I came up with!

Paleo?? Coconut Curry Cauliflower Soup

Cook Time: However long it takes you to cook it

Serves: However many people eat it :)

1 1/2 Tbs bacon grease

1 Tbs coconut oil

1/2 yellow onion finely chopped

2 to 3 cloves of garlic finely chopped

1 head of cauliflower finely chopped

1 can of coconut milk (Canned is very important!!! Taste of Thai or Thai Kitchen) Do NOT get low fat!

1/2 cup coconut milk original flavor from the carton (like Silk brand)

1 1/2 tsp Red Curry or more...I probably used more (do this to your taste)

1 tsp cayenne pepper (also more if you like a little more heat, although the red curry is a bit spicy)

salt and pepper to taste

Saute onion and garlic in a pot over medium heat in the combination of coconut oil and bacon grease.  When onions have become soft and translucent, add in the chopped cauliflower and canned coconut milk.  This is where you can get all crazy with the spices.  I said 1 1/2 tsp of red curry, but I probably ended up using more...this is to be made however you'd like to eat it, so taste as you go and YOU decide!  After you've got it nice and spiced the way that you like it, choose your own adventure....do you prefer a chunkier soup or a creamier soup??? If you are like me and prefer a creamier soup, let the soup cool slightly and place it in the food processor or blender and blend adding coconut milk from the carton until it is at your desired texture!  

I garnished with additional red curry on top to make it pretty!  I think it would be really yummy with something crispy on top like a fried leek or bacon crumbles!

Hope you enjoy! Please comment with any tips or modifications you have to the recipe.  These are all approximate recipes, so I apologize if any of the measurements are off!  As far as the spices go, you could take this is any direction you want to go.  If you like spicy...try the curry...if you are earthier try some cumin or nutmeg!

TIME!

The face says it all

TIME! Never was a word so sweet!  I managed to live through Hoosier CrossFit Winter Rendezvous AND we weren't last!!!! The first workout was probably the toughest for us.  It was dead lifts, pull-ups, and double unders...well....there were other movements, but we didn't make it there :) Annie (my partner) did ALL of the dead lifts....which ended up being 50!! The pull ups we split.  I started them out with three in a row and surprised myself, but then did not do so great and got no reped on some of my pull ups :(. I am new to double unders and had to do a single and then a double, BUT that is better than my usual 5 singles to 1 double AND I didn't mess up until about 25... Which is much better than my usual oooohhh 5 or so before I mess up!

The second workout was the bear complex (see last post for video).  We both got 105lbs.  I think we would have gotten 110, but we both failed at our first attempts and ran out of time :( There is something really nerve-wrecking about placing a 100+lb bar on your back.  I'm pretty sure I've got a nice bruise back there, but I can't really see.  This was a fun, yet also nerve-wrecking ( it's nerve-wrecking, right? Racking???... You know what I mean) to watch!  I covered my eyes or made a nice oooooooooooo noise every time someone who was doing a really heavy lift placed it on their back!  Caitlin (my friend and coach) got a 175lb bear complex!!!! Pretty impressive! 

Last workout was probably the best for me, but definitely the most taxing! It was only 6min long, but a toughy for sure.  Both teammates had to row 500 meters (which you can clearly see me enjoying above). While one partner was rowing the other would do an ascending ladder of thrusters (front squat to over head) at 65lbs and box jumps (just what it sounds like).  So 1 and 1, 2 and 2.....so on and so forth.  I really wanted to have one of the fastest girl's rows, but I think there were 10 or so in the female-female division that were faster.  Oh well!  This workout gave us a few more points and brought us up two places!  

It was so much fun competing with someone and I'm so greatful to have had such a positive and encouraging partner!! It was all around a positive experience! I talked to so many people from other CrossFit boxes who were very supportive and gave tips and kind words of encouragement! It was amazing to see people cheering for people they didn't even know!  Just goes to show how much it really is about community.  I am very lucky to be part of a wonderful community at CrossFit Clay United! I was thinking on the ride back about all of the lovely people back at CFCU.  I think it's the perfect place for me as a CrossFit newbie!  I'm really very fortunate! 

Ok...on to non mushy things...here are things I learned from my first (hopefully of many) crossfit competition:

-have fun

-talk to someone you don't know

-figure out which direction your weight belt goes before you are in front of a large group of people

-take advantage when you see the bathroom line is short

-get a paleo cupcake before the finals, because apparently they pack up early :( 

-if you do a winter competition...get a partner with heated seats in their car or get some in your's ;) makes a world of difference

-don't get frustrated

-surprise yourself

I'm sure I've learned other things, but it's past my bedtime! Until next time...here are more pics from the competition :)

Blurry thruster

TIME!

Challenge Accepted

(My sweat mark)

Tomorrow is finally the day!  Hoosier CrossFit Winter Rendezvous!  My wonderful partner and I have been praying for no double unders (jumping rope passing the rope twice under for one jump) or pull ups in the competition.  Of course when they posted the workouts on Wednesday, both double unders and pull ups are in the first workout!  Just my luck! But I ain't scurrred!!! Definitely nervous, but what do we have to loose (besides a little skin from our hands and some feeling in shins and arms from jump rope whips!).  It's a way to go have fun and challenge myself! The second workout is something called a bear complex http://youtu.be/h4Jw5ZHtLqQ. My partner and I will each have to establish a one rep max for this movement.  I like bears...no prob here ;). Last workout is rowing and thrusters (front squat thrusted into a overhead position)...we've got that too!! We definitely will not win, but we will give it our best and at the end of the day have something to be proud of!! I'm sure I'll have lots of fun things to say after the competition, but in the meantime....I've loaded up on gear...new socks, lifting belt, crazy color tape...you look good...you feel good!!! 

Until next time (probably Sunday)...stay strong and wish me luck...and strength...and technique....and a good attitude....and fun!!!!!