Body Image

April 2013         August 2013        January 2014

So here we have a pre CrossFit pic, 2ish months in, and yesterday (7 mon)  Yes I realize that is an awful swimsuit top..I have purchased a new one, but wore the same for comparison :) The difference in weight between each picture is roughly 10lbs (plus quite a bit of muscle gain).  Between the first and last picture I have lost 4 inches off my bust, 4inches off of my waist,  4inches off my hips, and 2inches off my thigh.  I can't say I have reached my goal yet, BUT I'm clearly much closer than I was in April, and I can't wait to see what the results are come April or May! :)

Body Image:

As proud as I am of my weight loss and transformation, I posted and deleted that picture probably 5 times.  I have never been comfortable with my body and putting it here on the internet for all to see is pretty frightening.  I have definitely had some harsh critics over time from middle school bullies to people who were very close to me, but overall the harshest critic has been myself.

I was at the Great Lakes Invitational a few weekends ago (a CrossFit competition in the area that brings some big athletes into town).  It was a wonderful display of talented athletes and beautiful bodies.  I found myself looking for girls about my height and build to get some good goals.  I have always found the athletic build to be the most attractive and appealing to me.  I also think it's probably the most realistic body type for me to strive for.  I'm 5'10" and have broad shoulders and wide hips.  I'm not going to look like a lot of the traditionally attractive looking celebrities, not unless I cut my legs off below the knee and develop an eating disorder.  I know a lot of models are my height, but have very small builds and I would assume a lot of them don't eat very much.  In high school my lean body mass was measured at 133lbs, so I would assume now with muscle gain it's at least 140-145lbs.  Can I weigh 125lbs like Giselle?? I wouldn't want to see myself that way or see what it would take to get that way.  Yes, I realize there are some people who are naturally very thin, but it gives usnrealistic expectations for some people who strive to look like that.

I think if I lean out another 10 or so lbs and gain some more muscle, I'll be right about where I'd like to stay and maintain forever!  With that said, I need to learn to love and respect my body at all stages.  I have a healthy goal for myself, but I have to realize throughout this experience that not everyone will agree with how I do it or how I want to look.  I have had people tell me the body type I'm aiming for is unattractive or bulky, which I was very offended and hurt by.  I have spent 25 years being uncomfortable with my body and to hear that what I am close to and what I want is unattractive?!?! It's frustrating!  BUT, then I realize...it really doesn't matter.  They aren't me.  They don't get to own my body and they don't get to experience the pride I do when I reach a goal.  Ultimately, I am responsible for how I look and how I feel about the way I look.  So I'm setting a new goal for myself!  As I reach new goals, continue to respect and love myself!  At the end of the day, a person who is comfortable in their own skin and loves them self is the most attractive anyway!

I'll get off my podium now...Until next time, stay strong!