Bad Romance

First things first...I missed my second month Crossfitiversary (Aug 10th)!! It's the best relationship I've had in a while, and I FORGOT!  So cheers to you and I CrossFit, may we have many more to come!

But THAT is not my bad romance.  I have a confession to make (I'm no fool!...sorry quick Foo Fighters reference), I have a bad relationship with food.  Not as bad as it used to be, but bad none the less.

I understand eating can be a very social or emotional thing, and that can tend to get people in trouble.  The social part definitely gets me in trouble.  Especially living downtown near some of the best food in the city, I am invited out to dinner all of the time it seems.  I am fortunate/unfortunate in the emotional area.  When I am upset emotionally I have no appetite, but I literally mean NO appetite.  Where I think I struggle the most is the bored or lacking eating.  I'm the type of person who likes to be doing something all of the time (more so before I started working).  A lot of the time when I am bored I will tend to make several grazing trips to the kitchen for usually something sweet (not while I'm doing this 30 day Paleo challenge).  What I mean by 'lacking' eating is- feeling like something in my life is missing or unsatisfied with the general situation I am in.  I think too often I try to replace the empty feeling from something missing (whatever that may be- fulfilling work, purpose, companionship, hobbies, exercise, ect.) with food.  And at these times it's usually a LOT of food.  These are the late night, I have nothing to do, no one is here, stuff your face fests that are always followed by shame and much regret.  And as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes followed by a shameful purge.  This isn't something I've have an issue with in sometime, but I feel like making my mess my message might hopefully help someone else/myself out.  I had convinced myself because it happened so rarely that I didn't have a problem.  Obviously I did (and probably still do).

I think what has helped me the most in the instance of the 'lacking' eating, would be purpose.  Giving purpose to each day by striving to make myself a better person.  Nothing positive has ever come by me sitting around and feeling sorry for myself.  Sure there are some things I want for myself that I can't have right now or have to work really hard to get, but what's stopping me from improving the areas I can.  I can strive every day to be a healthier me , stronger (emotionally and physically)me, a better therapist, a better friend, more spiritual, and more creative.  When you give your life purpose, you are less likely to let negative things occupy the empty spaces (like food, alcohol/drugs, or bad personal relationships).  I don't want to seem like I've got it all figured out (clearly I'm blogging about my triumphs/struggles)!  There is a book I remember seeing on Oprah (yes, I used to watch Oprah...shameful I know) called "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth, that I am thinking about reading (after I finish this month's Paleo magazine of course!).  Hopefully it can provide me some more insight and inspiration to stay on the right path!  I'll write a book review (high school style ;)  when I'm done!

Hope this wasn't a bummer blog, and can provide a little inspiration and make me keep myself accountable since I've put it all out there! Stay strong (mentally, physically, and spiritually).

 Songspiration for today (I think I want to do this every blog!)-

Video-India Arie

Better Version of Me- Fiona Apple

I Don't Want To Be- Gavin DeGraw

New Month New Challenges

Happy August!  Today is not only my first day back at work, but the first day of Crossfit Clay United's Paleo Challenge! One month strict Paleo.  Points are acquired for eating grass fed meats, wild caught fish, cage free hormone free eggs, drinking 1/2 your body weight in oz of water, getting 8+ hours of sleep at night, eating your body weight in grams of protein, going on a 20+min walk, 20-30 min spent in the sun, going to the gym for Crossfit WOD, loosing inches, ect.

If there is one thing I love...it's a good challenge!  Day 1 was great!! I started off the day with my beloved Fresh Market turkey bacon and an organic peach (bacon made the night before in the oven...which is how I will be cooking all my bacon from now on...when you wake up at 5:30am for work...aint nobody got time to make breakfast...or at least not this broad!).  Lunch was an organic grass fed chicken breast in a mango coconut sauce (also from Fresh Market).  Dinner was a bit odd,but great non the less.  I sauteed up half a sweet potato, took a spicy turkey sausage of the the casing and cooked that up and added an egg...soooo kind of a weird scramble of sorts. Odd, but yummy!

I got my Paleo questions answered and here they are (my commentary will be in red)

1. Fruit, vegetables, meats and animal livers are all excellent sources of calcium. If you are concerned about getting even more, I suggest a simple calcium supplement a few times a week.  Animal livers anyone???

2. Jerky and unsalted nuts are the best for the road, I think. Also, you can find Paleo choices at almost any roadside stop McDonalds salad, no cheese no croutons, Texas Roadhouse steak and potatoes, etc). Jerky! DONE! LOVE IT!

3. Corn isn't as bad as soy. If, after you did a Paleo challenge, you ate corn or rice once a week, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. More than that and you may have inflammation from it. Soy is the devil. Soy and other legumes are not only filled with anti-nutrients and estrogen, but they are packed to the gills with a protein called lectins. Lectins want to make you super sick and inflamed and uncool.  I'm going to research this lectin devil a bit more.  Maybe I'll blog about it! :)

4. Don't worry about carbs pre-workout. Not necessary, it turns out. Good post-workout carbs are sweet potatoes, potatoes, roots, tubers, squash, and low-fructose fruits (blueberries, pineapple, etc).  I love all of those things (except...I have no idea what a tuber is...)! Easy!

5. Eat carbs and a little protein in the few hours following a WOD. Fat at that time isn't necessary. I would just try to get some in within an hour of finishing your WOD.  I starting drinking chocolate coconut milk after my WOD.  

6. All vegetables are rock stars. Fruit is good, but I wouldn't eat more than 3 servings a day, and I would stick to the low-fructose fruits. You can find extensive lists online.  I'm on researching those! As noted above blueberries and pineapples (which are two of my favs!)

7. Big Paleo no-no list: NO grains. NO legumes. NO gluten-containing items.  DONE!  Bring it on!!!

I'll keep you posted how things go for this month of strict Paleoness!  More than the hopefully inches lost and the confidence that comes with loosing some inches,  I hope to learn a lot more about Paleo, feel better, stronger and more energized (harder, better, faster, stronger...that that that that won't kill me...ok...you get it).  First challenge will be going to the Indians baseball game and resisting a hot dog and the beer (maybe just the dog...no bun??).  Anyone know any Paleo friendly booze??? I'll research!

Stay strong!