First things first...I missed my second month Crossfitiversary (Aug 10th)!! It's the best relationship I've had in a while, and I FORGOT! So cheers to you and I CrossFit, may we have many more to come!
But THAT is not my bad romance. I have a confession to make (I'm no fool!...sorry quick Foo Fighters reference), I have a bad relationship with food. Not as bad as it used to be, but bad none the less.
I understand eating can be a very social or emotional thing, and that can tend to get people in trouble. The social part definitely gets me in trouble. Especially living downtown near some of the best food in the city, I am invited out to dinner all of the time it seems. I am fortunate/unfortunate in the emotional area. When I am upset emotionally I have no appetite, but I literally mean NO appetite. Where I think I struggle the most is the bored or lacking eating. I'm the type of person who likes to be doing something all of the time (more so before I started working). A lot of the time when I am bored I will tend to make several grazing trips to the kitchen for usually something sweet (not while I'm doing this 30 day Paleo challenge). What I mean by 'lacking' eating is- feeling like something in my life is missing or unsatisfied with the general situation I am in. I think too often I try to replace the empty feeling from something missing (whatever that may be- fulfilling work, purpose, companionship, hobbies, exercise, ect.) with food. And at these times it's usually a LOT of food. These are the late night, I have nothing to do, no one is here, stuff your face fests that are always followed by shame and much regret. And as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes followed by a shameful purge. This isn't something I've have an issue with in sometime, but I feel like making my mess my message might hopefully help someone else/myself out. I had convinced myself because it happened so rarely that I didn't have a problem. Obviously I did (and probably still do).
I think what has helped me the most in the instance of the 'lacking' eating, would be purpose. Giving purpose to each day by striving to make myself a better person. Nothing positive has ever come by me sitting around and feeling sorry for myself. Sure there are some things I want for myself that I can't have right now or have to work really hard to get, but what's stopping me from improving the areas I can. I can strive every day to be a healthier me , stronger (emotionally and physically)me, a better therapist, a better friend, more spiritual, and more creative. When you give your life purpose, you are less likely to let negative things occupy the empty spaces (like food, alcohol/drugs, or bad personal relationships). I don't want to seem like I've got it all figured out (clearly I'm blogging about my triumphs/struggles)! There is a book I remember seeing on Oprah (yes, I used to watch Oprah...shameful I know) called "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth, that I am thinking about reading (after I finish this month's Paleo magazine of course!). Hopefully it can provide me some more insight and inspiration to stay on the right path! I'll write a book review (high school style ;) when I'm done!
Hope this wasn't a bummer blog, and can provide a little inspiration and make me keep myself accountable since I've put it all out there! Stay strong (mentally, physically, and spiritually).
Songspiration for today (I think I want to do this every blog!)-
Video-India Arie
Better Version of Me- Fiona Apple
I Don't Want To Be- Gavin DeGraw
But THAT is not my bad romance. I have a confession to make (I'm no fool!...sorry quick Foo Fighters reference), I have a bad relationship with food. Not as bad as it used to be, but bad none the less.
I understand eating can be a very social or emotional thing, and that can tend to get people in trouble. The social part definitely gets me in trouble. Especially living downtown near some of the best food in the city, I am invited out to dinner all of the time it seems. I am fortunate/unfortunate in the emotional area. When I am upset emotionally I have no appetite, but I literally mean NO appetite. Where I think I struggle the most is the bored or lacking eating. I'm the type of person who likes to be doing something all of the time (more so before I started working). A lot of the time when I am bored I will tend to make several grazing trips to the kitchen for usually something sweet (not while I'm doing this 30 day Paleo challenge). What I mean by 'lacking' eating is- feeling like something in my life is missing or unsatisfied with the general situation I am in. I think too often I try to replace the empty feeling from something missing (whatever that may be- fulfilling work, purpose, companionship, hobbies, exercise, ect.) with food. And at these times it's usually a LOT of food. These are the late night, I have nothing to do, no one is here, stuff your face fests that are always followed by shame and much regret. And as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes followed by a shameful purge. This isn't something I've have an issue with in sometime, but I feel like making my mess my message might hopefully help someone else/myself out. I had convinced myself because it happened so rarely that I didn't have a problem. Obviously I did (and probably still do).
I think what has helped me the most in the instance of the 'lacking' eating, would be purpose. Giving purpose to each day by striving to make myself a better person. Nothing positive has ever come by me sitting around and feeling sorry for myself. Sure there are some things I want for myself that I can't have right now or have to work really hard to get, but what's stopping me from improving the areas I can. I can strive every day to be a healthier me , stronger (emotionally and physically)me, a better therapist, a better friend, more spiritual, and more creative. When you give your life purpose, you are less likely to let negative things occupy the empty spaces (like food, alcohol/drugs, or bad personal relationships). I don't want to seem like I've got it all figured out (clearly I'm blogging about my triumphs/struggles)! There is a book I remember seeing on Oprah (yes, I used to watch Oprah...shameful I know) called "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth, that I am thinking about reading (after I finish this month's Paleo magazine of course!). Hopefully it can provide me some more insight and inspiration to stay on the right path! I'll write a book review (high school style ;) when I'm done!
Hope this wasn't a bummer blog, and can provide a little inspiration and make me keep myself accountable since I've put it all out there! Stay strong (mentally, physically, and spiritually).
Songspiration for today (I think I want to do this every blog!)-
Video-India Arie
Better Version of Me- Fiona Apple
I Don't Want To Be- Gavin DeGraw
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